Laugh 28

Morning Sex

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.

Afterward she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Three Men on a Hike

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.'

Poof! ... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.'

Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream and walked across the bridge.

Sorry guys, but these were just too good not to share, Haha.

My Day

Yesterday I had a minor accident here in my yard. I live on a hill that can be a problem, especially when one is in a hurry and forgets to think. I got a bad scrape on my left knee and banged up my right thigh and shoulder. Ouch! I felt it even more today than I did yesterday. I better take it a bit easier, I guess, or not only will I not be a case of "health travel", but might be a case of no travel. My friend Dan keeps telling me I have to slow down, I'm too old now for doing what I used to do. I don't much listen. :^ )

Today I wanted to get the painting done on my truck, and didn't. I waited for my friend Tug to bring me some stuff for adding to the paint that he said will thin it down a bit, help it to go on smoother, and help it to dry faster. I guess I could have done the masking off while waiting, that would have been good, then I could have painted right after he was here. As it was I had to mask after he left and by the time it was done, and some more sanding where I decided I hadn't done a good enough joy, I felt it was too late in the day to get to that job. The sun had gone down and it was cooling off. Now, after hearing the weather report, I am very sad I didn't get that done. I may have missed the window of opportunity.

Today I did get some things done though. With Dan's help I moved the canopy. I had taken it off the truck in the spring & it's been sitting on my utility trailer. I want to use the trailer so I moved the canopy onto the flat deck trailer for now. The hole in the top of the canopy, and some cracks in the sides, have to be fixed before it can be used again so I have to decide if I'm going to fix it (fiber glass) or build sides, roof, back door on the rack so when I want to in spring they can just be taken off and put on when needed. This might be easier to put on and off as needed. Anyway I digress. Once the canopy was off it, I moved the trailer up top to where I park my truck beside the house. I will be moving trash from the house and carport into the trailer and taking it to the dump. I recycle, reuse, give away, compost a lot of things so don't bother paying for garbage pickup, instead I wait until I have a bunch to get rid of and haul it away myself. This also takes care of things I wouldn't be able to put down at the road for pickup if I had it.

I also moved my "parts truck" from the not-so-good spot it was parked in, parking it where the utility trailer had been parked. Now I'm going to put a For Sale sign on it as I have decided I don't need it after all, so want to get rid of it and get my $$ back.

I masked/sanded more on my 'good' truck then came in for a rest. This evening I got to work in the house, sorting and getting rid of stuff from the loom room, where my pellet stove is lost amongst the 'stuff'. All this and still blogged, spent time on Facebook, and played MahJong.

Now it's nearly time for bed. Ahhhhh. It's chilly enough in here that my nose is uncomfortably cold so will be good to get beneath the comforter.

Laugh 27

This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, 'Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?'

But there was no answer from his new Pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, 'How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?' But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet.. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time. This time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, 'Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?

YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS......


A little voice came out of the box: 'I heard you the first time ! I'm putting my shoes on!'

Things You Probably Don't Know

1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. You can read weight loss supplement reviews online.

18. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, hence, multi-tasking was invented.

19. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

20. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

Laugh 26

A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me…??
Shit, that's just a sign of good taste!

The above is an email a friend just sent me. I crossed out the 'bad' word to keep this child friendly here. :^ )

Seniors on a Little Road Trip

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around -- in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlesslessy during the entire return drive. The more he chided her -- the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her:

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!"

This is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one
unstable person to show you care.

Well ... my job is done. Your turn.

[It seems I keep meeting guys named Bob, I'm sure this old geezer was likely another Bob. Must be a Bob revolution happening! ;^) ]

What's Up...

The last few days, maybe a week now, have been very busy. There is so much to do before the weather gets cold and it's coming on fairly fast. Just a few days ago it was 28°C, and yesterday 18°C. I have been working on my truck, prepping and it for paint as well as doing some painting. I painted the roof, now have done some sanding on that before I give it a second coat. I have painted the steel rack on it, and I have been sanding the hood to paint it. My wonderful truck has seen many years (it's a 1992, so 17 years old) and had some body damage and rust when I bought it (forget when that was though must be 5 years or so now). It also had peeling paint problems on the hood and roof. This peeling has continued to get worse and the roof had surface rust happening in many paint-free spots. I didn't get real picky with prepping the roof before painting it, after all, it's not like many people see the top of the roof, it just needs protection from the weather to save it from rotting away. The hood, however, is where I and everyone can see it and I want it to look as good as possible. A couple people said I "you can't paint it with a brush, you have to spray it on" and "you can't use gloss paint, you have to use matt black, 'they' use matt for this kind of thing". Well, I'm using Gloss black Tremclad rust paint and using brush & roller to apply it. To heck with what 'they' say, haha. It may not be perfect but it sure is a lot better then it was. Will post photos when done.

I also plan to take 2 windows out of the 1989 and put them into the 1992, then put the ones from the '92 into the '89. Why? you may be asking. Well, the ones in my '92 don't pop out and the ones in the '89 do, they are in the extended cab part of the truck. I bought the '89 not long ago as a parts truck and have decided not to keep it, once I switch the windows over I will resell the truck. Instead of switching the boxes I'm going to get the rust cut out and new metal welded in on my '92. Turns out it will be cheaper and likely better too.

Also before the weather gets cold I need to clean out an entire room in my house. Over the spring & summer months much stuff got moved into there 'temporarily' and has stayed there, so must be moved and 'disposed of' (given, thrown, put away elsewhere) so I can get to my pellet stove as it's what I use to heat this place and will soon need to do just that.

I am planning to go for a trip in later October. No, not one of those Vegas vacations, though I'm sure that would be nice. I plan to go to visit a friend in Wenatchee WA. He's talking about sending me money for gas to go visit, so I'm getting Reba some rabies shots tomorrow so she can go across the line with me. The soonest I can get away from here is October 23, so far as I can tell just now, and all fall jobs must be done before I go so all will be well here, inside and out, while I'm away. So I don't have much time for blogging these days. Will do my best to get here and post regularly and still do my usual jobs in life and my 'fall yard and house stuff' too. I need about 4 more of me to get all this done. :^ )

Laugh 25

This is an email I received from a dear and wonderful cousin of mine. Though we have never met we text, Facebook, and also email jokes along with the odd note. I look forward to the day we actually meet. Anyway... the email she sent I am posting here for a laugh for all of us, maybe several, depending on the comments you post.

Answer me first on this question, then forward question to your friends.
Wait till you see the responses... this is a riot!

Question:

"If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for?"

Reply to me, alone, then forward this on and see how many crimes you get accused of.