Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Laugh 28

Morning Sex

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen, table.

Afterward she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Three Men on a Hike

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: 'God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.'

Poof! ... God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: 'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.'

Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards upstream and walked across the bridge.

Sorry guys, but these were just too good not to share, Haha.


Thom said...

OMG...these are just too funny, I love them. Laugh and the world Laughs with you :) There is an award for you and Reba on my blog my friend :) Aloha

quilly said...

Okay, Alice, the funniest part of the first one was reading it and thinking you wrote it and being VERY confused.

Brochure Printing said...

So are you saying that women are more intelligent hahahahahah. I beg to disagree hehehehehe.

Rhonda said...

Those were really good ones. The second one about turning into a woman to figure things out reminded me of the one the difference in cost between women and men changing oil.

ullapool said...

Oh my goodness Alice this is just wonderful. I love your something cold and the something noisy I can so just here that. Your splash was something else and the hole...excellent. You did a great job. I loved this and yours is terrific.