Sunday, December 23, 2007

What's Been Up

The last while has been very wild and crazy busy! Getting ready for Christmas at the church as well as at my Spiritual Centre. Extra song rehearsals, placing ads in the local paper, collecting donated food and gifts for a family of three here in town that our church 'adopted' for Christmas, generally preparing for our Christmas Candle Lighting Service and todays Sunday Service.

Friday evening at 7pm was the Christmas Candle Lighting Service, and it was a smash in so many ways. The entire program went off with hardly a hitch at all, and the couple hitches were very small and likely only noticeable to those of us 'preforming'. As well as my usual job of Song Leader, Bev & I sang a duet, with Hannah on the piano and singing the last line with us to add in some harmony. I was the lighter of the Gold Candle, the candle of Love. After lighting the Love candle from the flame on the Christ candle, I read about what this candle represents and how it is linked to the Christ consciousness. Each candle is a different color and represents a different one of the 7 aspects of God... Peace, Power, Light, Life, Love, Beauty and Joy. With the Christ candle this leads to 8 candles burning at the front of the room.

One of the songs I sang was "In Bethlehem Town", where I sang a line and then everyone else sang what I'd sung, then I did another line, etc. The close of the evening was a procession. When arriving everyone was given a program as well as a small candle taped to a small cardboard square with a little hole in the middle. For the procession everyone put the candle through the hole, the cardboard protects the hand from any dripping wax, and I was the first to go up and light my candle. You light your little candle from the candle or candles of your choice at the front... I chose Love and Power. This is the gift you wish to take with you, the aspect(s) you want to grow within yourself in the coming years. After lighting my candle, I went to stand by the piano with Hannah playing it, and Luke on his sax. I began to sing the Peace Song as the rest of the people filed up to light their candle and return to their seats... then they all joined in. The Peace Song leads right into Silent Night. It's awesome.

I invited many friends and family members to come to the Christmas Candle Lighting Service, a very special yearly event, and only one person I invited showed up. Bob is a fellow I've had very strong feelings for, for about 4 1/2 years now, since the first day I met him. He was the only one I invited that showed up... and he brought a date. I guess I should have been more specific in my invitation, but hey, who'd have thought he'd bring a date? When a woman invites a man to some special occasion, who would think he'd bring a date? He didn't look at me much, mostly looked down a lot, didn't look at her much either for that matter. She, on the other hand, looked at me a lot. It seemed she couldn't take her eyes off me, in fact. The words 'stare' and 'glare' come to mind when I think of it. As I stand at the front and sing, I tend to look around at my audience a lot. Look at my words then at my audience, scanning the room. Every time I looked in that direction she was staring and glaring, and as she saw me look at her, she'd put on a phony smile. Not the most comfortable situation, I must admit. The saving grace was first, knowing of my Oneness with God, feeling God's love for me... and also knowing of the love others in that room have for me. At one point, I looked over at Rev. Sheila and her eyes met and held mine and she smiled. I saw and felt the love she was sending me, the support she was giving me. You see, she knew what was happening.

So, finally, after 4 1/2 years, I am free. Bob has told me before that he has no girlfriend, but has girl friends. That he is not looking for a relationship just now, only wants to be friends. I accepted that but there was always a hope for the future, and there often were little things he did that told me there was hope, just hold on and give it time. The little kisses he sometimes gave me, the way he'd reach out to hug me, or just to touch my hand or arm, the way he'd pay attention to the words I spoke. We have a lot in common in many ways, but I would never have such a lack of class as to take a date along when invited out by a man. I know that I deserve more than this, I deserve much better treatment than that. I deserve a man with class, who loves me and is physically, mentally and emotionally available to me.

Another thing I was doing was making a video.... yes, the topic has changed, haha. I won the opportunity to enter a contest with Pay U2 Blog. Write minimum 75 words, make a video advertising memory foam mattress and/or and post that video to You Tube as well as to your blog. I got Dan to run the camera for me and finally we got one that works. The assignment was for Reba's Run. Pop over if you have a moment and take a look at the post, at this video of ME in my pajamas, sitting on my bed with Shadow, my cat.

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