Laugh 24

FLAT TIRE EQUIPMENT!

I had a flat tire on the interstate, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy.

It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me. He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! 'What's going on here?'

'My car has a flat tire', I said calmly.

'Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'

I couldn't believe that he didn't know.. So I told him,

'Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.'

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
~Phyllis Diller


Little Jimmy attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Little Jimmy asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Little Jimmy, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.'