Death Watch

I guess I've held off admitting this long enough. I've known it for a couple days now, and definitely for all of today, but still I kept hoping. There is no hope left now. Cherry is still breathing, but has wasted away to bones now and has no strength at all left. She can't even pick her head up, just lays here on me slipping ever so slowly away. I've done all I can do to save this little life, and nothing has worked. The vet suggested the last time I was there, that I leave Cherry with them so they could do blood tests and feed/medicate her. With already having paid $400, plus the gas to make 4 or 5 trips down there now, I just couldn't leave her there at $50 a day. I don't really have faith that they could have done anything more than I have, other than the blood tests that could cost a few hundred more dollars. It's hard enough to keep my mortgage and bills, etc, etc, etc paid up without huge vet bills. It's sad, but it is true. Even if I had left her there, would they have been able to save her life?? I don't know, but I do doubt it very much.

So, here I sit with a more dead than alive chinchilla laying on me. If I had a way to do it without causing her pain, I would end her life right here and now. It is to the point where I am praying that God take back her spirit from her body, release her from discomfort or worse, and return her to Peace, Love, Light of God.

I told Cherry Chinchilla that if she was going to die, do it before midnight last night so it would still be in 2008 where it could be left in history, live until after midnight and you have to get better and live on... not start 2009 off with your death. I guess she wasn't listening. I can see no way for her to continue on much longer, so I trust she will be gone before morning. I don't want to leave her to die alone while I go to bed, so I guess I will be sitting here in this chair for some time yet, and likely sleeping here as best I can.

For now...