Thinking Things Out - In Writing

I know that what we put out, we get back. Yup, our thoughts and the actions we take after thinking those thoughts create our experiences. I know this. So I know that what Don did will create experiences in his life that I sure wouldn't want to have in my life. I am trying to take some sort of comfort in that without wishing him any bad in his life as I don't want to create that bad in my life. If I wish bad on him, I create bad for me. I want to go find him and smash the headlights out of his truck or knife his tires or.... well, I'm trying real hard not to think these kind of thoughts. It's just really a challenge right now. I'm really upset that I was stupid enough to trust him and that he was so ignorant as to do what he has done. All these years since I ended things with his brother, I've still stayed friendly with their mother until she died, and with Don. Now, suddenly Don screwed me over and went slinking out of here owing me money and taking my trailer key and my mail box key with him... as well as taking my trust, my friendship, and even some love.

My mother had just recently commented on how she thought I'd made a mistake letting him move in here. I said, no, I'd done the right thing. I'd saved him from being homeless, I'd helped someone in need, and that was the right thing to do. Now I am having a hard time holding on to that belief and feeling. Now I'm feeling like a sucker.

I need to get my thoughts and feelings worked around here. What I want to create in my life experiences are very different from what I will create if I keep thinking/feeling like I am right now. By writing this post and the one before it, I am trying to get rid of the anger and other negative feelings, and the thoughts that go with them. I have to forgive (Don for what he did, and me for giving him the opportunity to do it), and I have to trust God to take care of me, to replace the money Don owes me and the cost of getting new keys for the mailbox and trailer. I also have to find a different place outside to hide my house key so Don won't have access to that anymore, but that's a physical thing, not a spiritually related thing.