Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Writing Prompt: What if.........

What if............

What if I committed to a years membership in the gym? Would I keep enjoying it as much as I enjoyed it during the free trial week I just finished? Of the 7 free days I went there and worked out 4 days. I actually felt good and enjoyed the workouts, sometimes even not wanting to leave when I had to go do other things. I know that many people who join gyms don’t actually go to them, or at least not much, so it’s really just a waste of their money. Would I be like them? Or would I be like the ones that do use it once they’ve joined? I think I would use it, but what if I’m wrong. I’m not in a position to pay for a gym membership, but I am willing to do what it takes to make the payments… if I’m actually going to get healthy from paying out that money. I am not in a position to pay for a gym membership I am not going to use. I really liked going for the free week. Will I continue to like it that much or will I grow to hate it? Will I look forward to going, or will I have to push myself, will I find myself making excuses why I can’t go today or tomorrow or… well, you get it.

I tell myself that this would be a gift to myself. The gift of improved health, to be exact. I tell myself that I will loose weight (well, at least fat! Muscle weighs more than fat but takes up less space and looks much better as well as is healthier), and that I will strengthen my heart and lungs. I also will strengthen my back and stomach muscles, therefore being better for my back. Oh, I know that working out won’t repair my deteriorated discs, or take away the arthritis, but the muscles could, and likely would, hold the back in position better and maybe take away a lot of the pain. It also could stop or slow down the progression of the arthritis, and maybe the disc deterioration. I dream of myself getting back into those tiny jeans I used to wear, of being tiny again. But is any of this reality, or is it only a dream? I am already starting to eat better, more healthily, and I feel “ready” to do what it takes. I have “wanted” for a long time, wanted to loose the weight and be tiny again, but I have not done anything about it. I have not been ready I guess. I know that no one can do anything until they are ready. The smoker that wants to quit smoking won’t until they are ready, the alcoholic won’t stop drinking until ready, and the fat person won’t loose weight until they are ready. I finally feel ready to actually do something about it, something more than want or wish. But what if… what if I’m just fooling myself? A year’s membership is a big commitment to make.

Namaste

Alice

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