Friday Funnies #3

Friday Funnies... on Saturday!

Some days you just aren't functioning well enough to do these silly things, like posting to you blog or going around the world reading other peoples blogs. Today (I'm still of Friday time even though I know it's officially Saturday now), I was very stiff and sore from overdoing it at the gym yesterday. I wrote a note to self to not be so silly next time, but it was the last day of my free week and I just had to try out more stuff that's available there... sigh. I also had totally no interest in my computer, felt like I'd reached the saturation point. But now I am posting some jokes for you, so maybe not quite to the saturation point after all. Still some blogging left in me. Anyway, it's time to make you laugh...

A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital.
During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating
furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing
that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry
that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where
his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five
times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

”Oh, well in that case, I guess its okay," said the woman.

As they passed by the very next room, they saw a male patient laying in
bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him.

Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, better health plan”.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the mans face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear,I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied,"I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."