Friday, October 12, 2012

Relationships

I am a single woman who has lived on my own for many years, most of my adult life in fact. I was married at 17 years old and left that unhappy life just 3 years, 3 months and 5 days later. The divorce was on the grounds of mental cruelty. Over the years I had different boy friends, including a musician, another musician who eventually became a tattoo artist, a laborer at the glass plant, and a few others that I need not mention here or anywhere. Finally, in 1988 a friendship I had with a floor layer advanced to more and we decided to live together. This relationship lasted just 22 months and would have been less if it didn't take so much time to extract myself from the abusive, controlling situation without having it go violent. The next man I became involved with was a cowboy, manager of a ranch, my dream come true and the love of my life. This relationship only lasted a matter of months until his grown daughter caused us to have a nasty argument and with us both having been badly hurt too many times it was enough to split us up. I still think of him often, all these years later.  It took a long time for me to let another man into my life, this one was something of a bush man, could even be called a tailored sportsman, and he was very persistent in convincing me to try again. There was a lot of good, and a lot of bad in this relationship that lasted around a year. Sometimes he would come to my home and mow my yard or shovel the snow off the driveway, depending on time of year of course, while I still slept. He even did the lions share of the work of building a huge tire retaining wall in my yard.  We loved going to the bush together, panning for gold, hiking, just driving... and he loved my animals too, especially my dog. Unfortunately, he had anger issues that I could not handle.  Having had abusive relationships before I could not chance being in yet another one, so we broke up.  Yes, I still miss him too and wonder where/how he is now.

I had only dated a few times in the last 20 years or so.  Mostly I am very happy and content to be single, on my own, free, safe... yet at the same time a part of me does want a boyfriend.  I'm not sure I want to live together, or to marry, though maybe someday.  For now I would just want to date and get to know each other, to grow into a relationship together. I think a man who rides a motorcycle would be great, motorcycle and horses even better... and this is just one item on a list of 'must haves' for my potential mate.

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