The Pain Body

After a few days of living in hell with all that pain, I finally am feeling much better. I was able to drive to town to my Dr. this morning, though it was a painful 'stretch' to accomplish it. For some time I was literally unable to use my arms due to the extreme pain involved, so just kept them in close to my body. Due to the pain in my knees I couldn't get down onto or up off of the toilet without screaming/crying in agony. I finally even had to pee in a bucket, standing, then dump into toilet because I just couldn't face that pain again. It was a major relief this morning when I was able to use the arms enough to, with bending at the waist, reach the gear shift in my truck, and the steering wheel too, so I could drive to the doctor. After listening to my story, and a quick exam, he ordered some blood tests to confirm his suspicions. I asked just what it was he thought was the problem, and he told me Polymyalgia. Poly meaning muscle, and myalgia meaning pain. Oh ya, doc, good thing you told me I had muscle pain!! I might have missed that one!!

The 'funny' thing is that I've never heard of Polymyalgia before a couple months ago. Just before Christmas, my Mom was in a lot of pain in one shoulder and one wrist (I think both on same side). She was diagnosed with Polymyalgia and put on Prednisone, a nasty steroid drug that I really could have joyfully lived through my life without ever having to take.

I went and had the blood taken for the tests, at the lab upstairs, and the results will be back tomorrow. If it is as the doctor suspects, he will be prescribing Prednisone for me. I really don't want to take Prednisone, I've heard bad things about it, and a friend just texted me that it kills you slowly. I always say we always have 2 choices. So right now as I see it, I have 2 choices. I can take the drug and have it damage my body, but take the pain away. Or I can refuse to take it and live in this kind of agony for the rest of my life. Either way sounds pretty bad to me.

This evening was "Spiritual Fitness" class, and it was very hard, but I forced myself to get into my truck and go. I did not want to miss any of it, and I do know that this 'dis-ease' is a form of resistance coming up to stop me from achieving what I want. It is normal for resistance to come up when we try to make changes in our lives... and I am working on big time changes. I'm very happy that I went to class. I actually feel physically somewhat better now than I did earlier. Don, one of my classmates, commented as we left that he noticed I appeared to be better than when I arrived. He was right. So, will this pass on it's own without the drugs? Or will it keep hanging on unless I take the poison the Dr. is going to give me? I just don't know the answers here. I think I've had this for quite some time, thinking it part of the Fibromyalgia I was diagnosed with after a vehicle crash 26 years ago, thinking it was because my spine was out and needed chiropractic adjustments. Each time I had an adjustment, I got somewhat better... for awhile, but it never held for long. If I go onto the Prednisone, I should be able to get off it again in the next few months, so that is a good thing.

So, that is what's been up with this pain I told you I'd been in lately. Mom, as I said, has it in the one shoulder and wrist. I have it in both shoulders and both knees, my neck is hurting a lot, as well as much lesser degree of pain in hands and feet. Mom seems to think she's much better now than she was, and said the pain went very quickly after starting the meds.