"Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another's control... to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else's nightmare."
-- Lance Morrow --
3 comments:
For years after my divorce I was bitter and angry toward my ex-. Just the thought of him could put me in a black mood all day.
I hated me, too. I couldn't believe I had ever married such a loser. How was I taken in? He didn't have a single redeeming quality ....
Then one day during my morning meditation, God prompted me to forgive. I was like, No way. That jerk doesn't deserve forgiveness! And that still little voice sadly said, Then you are going to feel this way forever.
IT took some work, some reminders, some constant letting go, but I did manage to forgive Michael for his drunkenness, his anger, his rages, the lying, stealing, and disappearing for days. I came to realize that is who he'd become, because he refused to forgive.
After sorting through all of my feelings and letting go of my anger and the need I had for him to admit and apologize for -- at the very least -- the entire last year of our marriage, I began to again remember the good things.
I remembered him before the alcohol took over. Most of the years of our marriage were good and happy, but my refusal to forgive had robbed me of those memories. When my memory returned and I could acknowledge Michael's good points, I was also able to forgive myself for loving him in the first place -- which freed me to love again.
Now I have OC and my life has never been better -- not just because he is in it, but because we are in this relationship together and committed to making it work and dealing with out problems in healthy manners.
Whew! I bet you wanted me to dump all that on you!
Quilly, thank you so much for sharing your story with me and my readers. That is very special!! What a wonderful example of what forgiveness can do in our lives. Yes, it does certainly set us free, doesn't it.
So many think that forgiving someone is to condone what that person did, yet that is not it at all. Forgiveness is about letting go of the emotions attached to the situation. Letting go of the anger and the pain so we can be free to go on with life.
You reminded me of some very important things in life. Thanks again for sharing your story. I am so happy for you and to know you are now in a great relationship.
Those are really some hard words to memorize. But very right thing. Nice quote.
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