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As you can see by this picture of green beer, the word Mo at It's A Blog Eat Blog World chose for us this week is drink.
St. Patrick's Day is a very popular 'holiday' where people all over the place, Irish and non-Irish alike, love to drink a lot of green beer, green wine, etc. Gee, maybe I'll put some green food coloring into my bedtime glass of milk before I drink it.
A friend emailed me some 'Irish' jokes that I decided to share with you. I didn't want to appear 'racist' or offend anyone, so I've changed some names and such to make them more 'genetic' while still maintaining the humor and the 'drinking' theme. I'm posting 2 of them here, and letting Reba post 2 on her blog, so you simply 'must' go read them and tell her what a good dog she is, haha. One I eliminated completely as there was no way it could be 'cleaned up' without ruining it all together, lol.
Brenda is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shane is dead and gone. I'm sorry.”
Finally, she looked up at Tim.
"How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, “He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'“
If you had a good laugh, great! If you didn't think they were funny, have a few more drinks. The more green beer you drink the funnier the jokes will be.
HAPPY MANIC MONDAY
&
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
14 comments:
Haha ! Nice jokes. I had never heard about green beer and wonder if it is used in Irland. We don't celebrate St. Patrick's in Europe except Ireland of course.
I had never heard about green drinks ! I wonder if it only exists in the States I have to ask my Irish friend.
By my two comments, you see I just woke up ! I commented with the Google Reader and now with Mo's linky, lol ! Sorry !
Gattina, I welcome ALL your comments. There's no limit to how many you can leave here, hahaha.
As for green beer, it's always served here in Canada on St. Patrick's Day too, not just the USA. Other than that, I don't know what countries do or don't celebrate St. Pat's Day.
I'll be greedy. I'll have a laugh AND a drink :-)
Have a great St Pattys! Are you wearing green???? Uh oh here comes the CYBER pinch!
Loving your drinks!
Come by and have some green beer at me pub!
*LOL* I on´t ned any (green) drink to think the Irish kokes are funny!
Every single pub in Germany celebrates SPD today (okay, they started their celebrations on Saturday already...) - there are lots of pubs here. I´ve never had a green beer, but I´d love to see a photo of your freshly colored green milk... if there will be any *g*
I loved both the jokes Alice. Thanks for my first morning laughs. Have a great MM and St. Patrick's Day. Off to see Reba. :)
funny joke! thanks...
smiles, bee
hi there! thanks for the visit. enjoyed the jokes... as i read them i was wishing i had them on hand Saturday night. i play fiddle with an irish band,and that was, of course, the night of the big St Paddy's gig. the green beer flowed freely. i'll leave you with an irish blessing.
may the good lord bless all our those that love us.
and those that don't love us, may he turn their hearts.
and if he can't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so we'll know them by their limping.
Hi Alice me darlin,
Hope you are having a fine St. Paddy's day. Enjoyed your jokes as well. I don't drink beer but I have had green milk. Now for some Irish wisdom:
Someone once said: What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching...
Sing like nobody's listening...
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Alice, you coulda kept the Irish names (You used Brenda and Mary anyway! Ha!) we Irish never get insulted! Happy St. Patrick's Day! Come read the Irish Drinking jokes at my blog! :D
Hope you had a great MM. :)
Great jokes!
Hope the sun is smilin' on you today!
Thanks for participating in Manic Mondays!
~manic mo
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