Humour

The average man's life consists of twenty years

of having his mother  ask him where he is going;

forty years of having his wife ask the same question;

and at the end, the mourners wondering too!

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A woman's husband dies.  He had $30,000 to his name.
 After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery,
 she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left.
 The friend says, "How can that be?
 The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And
 of course I made a donation to the church. That was $500,
and I spent another $500 for the wake, food and drinks,
 you know.  The rest went for the memorial stone."
 The friend says, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? 
My God, how big is it?"

The widow says, "Three carats."

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