Friday, November 07, 2008

I'm Actually Still Peaceful!!

ImageChef Sketchpad -

I started to write this earlier today... and I got quite a lot done. Then I experienced a problem with my laptop and lost it all. Drat. Oh well, start all over again. It will be totally different from what I wrote last time because other than the basic topic, I don't remember what I wrote earlier.

I am about to write this between things I'm doing on the desktop computer at The Centre. I am working on doing the programs for Sunday, and that computer is so slow that it's driving me crazy, so I am really glad there is a chair on wheels here now, haha. My laptop is on one desk and it is on the other, so I give it a command then come here to type a bunch. By that time I hope it has finished doing that step. Sometimes it has and sometimes not. I think I need a mirror so I can just look up and see without turning around. Haha. I do the programs on my computer, then save to flash drive, then open it on the Centre's computer to print.

I'm back. I know you didn't miss me, but I was away for about 4 hours, haha. Okay, program is done, I went to a movie with friends, and now I'm back to finish this post.

As you know, if you follow my blog, I recently chose to leave the Toastmasters club I was a member of. In a nut shell, silly stuff happened, got blown way out of proportion, I was in the wrong though did not deserve to get blown up on as was happening. I did not get kicked out of the club, but chose to leave even though I was asked by several people, even the executive, to stay. So, since then, I've been visiting the other 2 clubs in the city where I live. I left the Monday evening club and was checking out the Wednesday and Thursday evening clubs. I decided that I didn't want to join Wednesday evening, so applied to the Thursday evening club. Toastmaster International rules say that each club must vote new members in, so okay. It took this club 2 weeks after I applied to tell me their answer which I thought was rather long since I had attended 3 meetings before applying, and everyone there was friendly and saying they really wanted me to join and be a member of their club.

I am taking a class at my Spiritual Centre (Thomas Troward's Edenborough Lectures - very deep, but good stuff), and it has been on Tuesday evenings. I had thought too bad it's not on Wednesdays as I would like to check out the Toastmasters in the town just north of here. Where I live is pretty much half way between the two, so to go there wouldn't be more than a few minutes drive further. Then suddenly, Rev. Dale, the instructor of the class, decided to change the class to Wednesday evenings. He didn't say why, just that he needed to do so. Haha... cool. Now having 'free' Tuesday evenings, I went to a meeting at the club I just mentioned. I really enjoyed the meeting there, felt at home and fit right in. I was invited to join. Hmmm... now I had a choice to make. Pros and Cons on both sides, and I liked both clubs so was thinking it could be a difficult choice... then was thinking I was more likely to join the one on Tuesdays, and not sure how to tell the ones on Thursdays that I may not be joining them after all.

Thursday evening, last night in fact, I went to a meeting, but did not stay for it. When I walked in I was very warmly greeted by 3 members, then while chatting with one of them, 2 more came over and asked me to step out into the hall with them for a moment. Once was the club president and the other is not even a member of the executive, but is a member not only of that club, but also of the one I just left. He is the one that spoke while the president hung back almost as if scared to be involved. I was told that because of all the trouble I caused at the Monday night club, and a couple other things, I am not welcome in this club. I was shocked!!! I was NOT happy!! I asked what the couple other things are and he couldn't answer that, just avoided it... because obviously there are no other things. He acted as if the thing at the other club had been a lot bigger than it was, and as if I'd been kicked out of the club. I think you will be proud of me... I held my head up high and said that it was no big deal as there was another club I've checked out and like a lot, and that they want me so this is there loss, not mine, and that I will not darken their door again.

Once outside and in my truck, I phoned Sheila who had given me her phone number when I'd been at the one on Tuesday. I asked if she was sure they want me, she already knew about what happened at Monday Night club, because Nell told her and said that what I did was small and got blown way out of proportion, etc. So, Sheila already knows all about that which is good. Anyway, she assured me that membership in the Tuesday evening club will be no problem, that I am welcome there. She also pointed out that the best 'natural revenge' is to join this club and be an exemplary member so the other club will see how good I am and eventually regret turning me away. I agree and will do so. I was an exemplary member of the Monday Night club until I foolishly insinuated that a woman there (who had already said she was at a party) may have drank an alcholic beverage at that party. So big deal. She's an adult, at an adult party with adults so what's the big deal?? I don't know, but she says I violated her privacy, trashed her reputation, and put her job in jepardy. How foolish. I apologized to her right there as soon as I realized she was upset. She asked me to make it clear to others that I had been joking, and she was not drunk, so I did what she asked and apologized to them for saying something I shouldn't have. She then went home and wrote an email to everyone all up in the air and said she was quitting the club, etc etc etc. So I was asked to write an apology email. I did it. The executive decided it wasn't good enough and I was to write another one. I did. It also, by their opinion, was not good enough. Then I was given instructions on how to write the proper apology, the only kind that they would deem worthy. So I did and it was accepted by the executive and sent out to every member of the club, even in they haven't been to a meeting in years (there are a couple people that maintain membership in that club even though not attending), and to people who were members and have not returned this fall but their names hadn't yet been taken off the list. At that point I was so discusted with it all that I felt I could not return to that club and be nice to the people involved. So, even though I was asked to stay, I chose to leave the club and asked to have my membership dues that I had just paid returned to me. I was very hurt by what happened, yet as soon as I made the decision to leave, and told them so, I felt so much better. I felt I had taken my power back. I felt more at peace.

I was a little bit hurt last night when I was refussed membership in Thursday night club, but I think mostly because I pride myself with being respectable, and I act so, so was shocked that I was not welcome, especially after being told that I was at previous meetings I attended. However, in no time I felt okay about it all. I am welcome at this other club and that leaves Thursday nights open. Thursday nights are one of my favorite nights on TV, and besides, the local Camera Club meets on the second Thursday of each month, so now I can go check them out. I want to join a camera club and hopefully improve my photography skills.

Another good reason that going to this other town on Tuesday nights to Toastmasters is a plus... Mom lives about another 10-15 minute drive north of there, so some weeks I can go up to visit Mom, then on the way back home stop at Toastmasters. It will turn out to be a good thing.

Yup... all is Good. And through all this 'upheaval' I am still Peaceful!! I am still happy!!


Anonymous said...

How did I miss this post?

And does the woman who threw the fit know that your apology got much more air time than your original inappropriate remark, and just reinforced in people's minds that she may, in fact have had a drink? I mean, if she hadn't have had a drink, why was she denying it so loudly?

Mimi Lenox said...

I love this peace post. You made such a stellar contribution on your blogs last fall. I, and so many others, were impressed with your quest for peace. I am enjoying reading them again.

Love and hugs,

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. "Taking your power back" is such a necessary part of the peace process. It depends on how you do it and the intent behind it. You are on the right track for sure!